I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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