i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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