I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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