I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
