i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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