Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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