Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
