thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
wow bdsm is so cute
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