Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
