i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
vagina is talking i cant
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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