There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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