HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
