Already got asked if we're dating
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
