Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize