R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
