I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
