so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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