I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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