i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was born a porn star she said
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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