Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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