i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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