Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize