So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
