Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
