did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
