please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
farters have to be the big spoon...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
