can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize