listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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