I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
