the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
