If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
