I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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