My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
