The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
