I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize