I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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