I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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