I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
