is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
