Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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