arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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