puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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