Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
