He is such a slut. More and more my type.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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