My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
