Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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