Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
