Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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