Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize