It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
