Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize