the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
