you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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