Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think my moral compass just broke
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize