no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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