it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize