allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
