One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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