I hate all girls vehemently.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
