those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
