If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
