Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
